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  “Ah, sustenance!” Drasche said, grinning as he twisted to face the officers. He didn’t move his right hand with the gun but rolled a bit onto his right side so that he could stretch his empty left hand back at them, clutching at the air. He was trying to leech energy from the officers, first to heal and then to pump himself up to finish me off, but it didn’t work, and the shouts got more insistent. Every second he held on to that gun increased the chances that he would be shot himself. But Drasche was stubborn and perhaps a bit slow to realize his predicament and just remained still, straining to do something he no longer had the power to do. The police converged, pointing their weapons at him, fingers on triggers, and eventually kicked away his gun. It skittered down the aisle as they grabbed his arms and yanked them behind him. Drasche finally realized he was a regular, powerless human, and his carefully cultivated arrogance evaporated. Being manhandled like the criminal he was caused him to lose his shit. He shouted curses in a mixture of German and English and struggled to free himself, but they had him cuffed in short order.

  That’s when I called for help and got it. “He shot me,” I said weakly, and that’s all I had to do. Drasche would go to prison after some cursory medical treatment, unless one of his vampire friends came to bust him out in the night. Regardless, he was simply human now, and I knew that would be a fate worse than death for him after centuries of preying on people.

  Saying “he shot me” was all I could do, anyway—I was fading fast. I had been able to take care of single bullets on a couple of other occasions, but I’d also been able to access the earth’s power when I did so. Five rounds and no juice meant I was completely dependent on modern medicine. Paramedics probed me and asked me questions that I tried to answer but succeeded only in spewing out an unintelligible verbal slurry. They gave me plasma as I was trundled into the ambulance and whisked away to a hospital somewhere.

  The ride was almost absurdly short—a block away, it seemed—but during the ride it occurred to me that I’d certainly be staying the night in the hospital, most likely sedated, and if Drasche knew where I was and managed to make a call, he could summon his vampire buddies not only to spring him but to take me out. Even if the police posted a guard on my room for some reason, a vampire would simply charm him or her and walk on past, ripping out my throat while I slept.

  As I slipped into unconsciousness before reaching a surgeon, I mouthed a prayer to the Morrigan that I’d get to wake up.

  CHAPTER 6

  With Loki’s mark dissolved, I feel simultaneously free but hunted—like prey, in other words. I can go wherever I want, with the proviso that someone could be (and probably is) watching. Surveillance-state London, in other words, but instead of the government tracking my movements, it’s anyone with a talent for divination.

  Loki is not particularly adept at that himself, but he knows people who are. He could still find me and set me aflame anywhere outside my warded cabin. That’s the trouble with earth-based wards: They don’t travel well. It’s what caused Atticus to bind cold iron to his aura—he couldn’t think of any other effective way to ward against magic on his person.

  It’s going to be a long process, doing that to myself, but after seeing how much the Fae hate it, I’m wondering if I should. Still, I think hiding from divination is a necessary safety measure and something I should pursue now, considering my current enemy: Loki can’t kill me if he can’t find me. I don’t want to ask Odin or any of his pantheon for help, though. The price they’d want me to pay would probably have something to do with their apocalypse, and the exchange of services would not be in my favor.

  The same would hold true of the Tuatha Dé Danann. Scáthmhaide was a gift, but any further favors would come at a price, and they would be sure to ask for a heavy one. Atticus might have a decent suggestion for me, but I doubt he’d encourage anything beyond cold iron. I don’t relish rehashing that conversation and I don’t know where he is right now anyway. That’s the way I’d like to keep it for a while: I have things I want to do besides hide myself from the gods. I have old business to conclude with my stepfather.

  Orlaith and I are somewhere in Sweden now, deposited here by request via the Bifrost Bridge after saying our farewells to Odin and Frigg. We’re on a lakeshore near some bound trees and we can go wherever we want, but we pause to appreciate the view. There’s some kind of hawk or perhaps an eagle hunting for fish—distance makes identification impossible. It’s chilly and the sky is overcast; it looks like it will snow soon. Orlaith’s tail wags when I point out the raptor hunting for its lunch. It dives down abruptly and comes up with a squirming pike in its talons.

  my hound observes, her tongue lolling out to one side.

  “Very subtle, Orlaith,” I reply. “Let’s go find some in India. I have someone I need to see there.”

  I shift us to a familiar banana grove outside of Thanjavur, India, where it’s much warmer than Sweden and the sun is shining. They often enjoy highs in the eighties during December.

  Orlaith says.

  “No, we won’t see Oberon and Atticus for a while. But the market in town should be hopping, and I bet we’ll find some chicken, at least.”

  We do indeed find some, and with basic needs met I pull out my phone and launch a browser, spending a few futile minutes trying to find a current address for one Mhathini Palanichamy, whose body Laksha currently inhabits. Time to act like the lost tourist I really am. I ask people who look friendly and willing to speak English how I might find a friend in town, feeling underdressed in my dull jeans and T-shirt in the midst of so many colorful saris.

  A Tamil University student sets me straight by telling me that the local search engines work fine but are mostly in the Hindi or Tamil languages, neither of which I speak. I offer her my phone, and in moments she has found the most likely address and sets me up with a walking navigation map.

  I feel the eyes on me from men and women alike as I make my way to the Palanichamy residence, and it’s just as well that I don’t speak the languages or else I would probably have to open a can of whup-ass on some men who catcall me. None of them approach, though, either owing to the presence of Orlaith at my side or the tomahawk at my belt.

  When I reach the address, my patience is tested further by the man who answers the door. He doesn’t speak English and dismisses me rudely, slamming the door in my face without making any serious effort to understand why I’m there. I pound on the door with one end of Scáthmhaide until he yanks it back open and shouts at me.

  “Mhathini,” I say, and repeat her name until it penetrates and he gives up his intimidation game. He shouts for her in the house and eventually she appears at the door, both wary and weary.

  Her sari is blue and green and her ruby necklace shines brightly against it, but her face is wan, even though the pallor of the hospital has improved to a healthier color. At least she brightens perceptibly when she sees me and says my name. A rapid argument with her brother or cousin or whoever the male is ensues, until he finally storms off, leaving us alone.

  “Sorry about that,” she says, stepping outside and closing the door behind her. “Mhathini’s family is quite conservative.”

  “Hey, you sound good!” I say, giving her a hug. When I last saw Laksha she had a severe speech impediment due to her host body’s brain injuries, but she had assured me she could work around it and she had.

  “Thanks. It took a few days, but I have her rewired now. Had to work fast if I wanted to have any kind of say in my life.”

  “Ugh. Who was that? Your brother? He had the distinct whiff of an asshole about him.”

  “Yes, he’s the brother, but they all have that attitude, unfortunately. Let’s talk out of earshot. The father speaks English and is not above eavesdropping. The brother has gone to fetch him. He’ll be out shortly to berate me for going outside alone, no doubt.”

  “Alone? I’m here
.”

  “Alone with a stranger is worse than being actually alone.”

  “We’ll convince him that we’re friends somehow.”

  Laksha smiles, a bit crooked but relieved. “I’m so glad you’ve come to visit.” She greets Orlaith and gives her a scratch behind the ears. Without waiting for anyone’s permission, we walk two blocks to a tea shop, and Laksha tells me on the way that Mhathini’s mother works in the silk industry, her father is an IT consultant who works from home serving clients in the UK, and her brother is a computer science major at the university.

  “And what about you?”

  “Mhathini was about to get married, which was apparently to be the sum of her future. But then she got in that car accident that landed her in the hospital. I am fairly certain from what I could glean of her remaining memories that it was not an accident but rather a suicide attempt.”

  “What?”

  “Her family is so very abusive. Not physically—I mean verbally. Lots of assertions that Mhathini is stupid and ugly and things of that nature. She didn’t think the marriage would improve matters. And of course the marriage is off now—the man married someone else while she was in a coma—so at this point I am reminded daily of how useless I am.”

  “Well, that’s bullshit and you should move on.”

  “I think Mhathini tried to do just that.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I know what you meant, Granuaile, but you are speaking from a place of tremendous privilege.”

  “What? I am not—”

  “Hold that thought, please,” Laksha says as we arrive at the tea shop. They have three outside tables and we sit at one, where Orlaith can join us. After we place an order, Laksha picks up the thread of our conversation. “Think about it, please: You have money and the ability to go anywhere you wish on the earth without spending that money. Plus significant physical abilities. These assets make you think it is simple for women to leave abusive situations.”

  “I never said it would be simple—just that you should do it. And you have significant abilities too, Laksha. There’s nothing keeping you here except your own will. If the situation is unbearable, then why have you decided to bear it?”

  Laksha shrugs noncommittally and looks down at her lap. “This is my karma.”

  I snort in disbelief. “How do you figure that?”

  “I don’t know what happened to you that night with the rakshasas and your father and Durga…”

  That’s not a night I wish to relive, so I say, “The short version is that I’m here and all the rest are not.”

  “Yes. I’m sorry about your father.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Well, after my austerities and prayers, after all of my efforts to battle the rakshasas, during the moment I was likely to do the most good, my help was firmly rejected.”

  “Rejected how?”

  “I left my host body’s mind, you see, to do battle with the raksoyuj in the ether, as I promised you I would. And while I was in the ether, the woman died—I don’t know how, for she was alive when I left. And Durga told me—not verbally; these were words I heard in the ether itself—that it was not my place to help, that my place was in my necklace, and then she forced me to return there.”

  “Durga said that exactly? You’re not paraphrasing?”

  “She said that. And then my next memory is of you telling me to inhabit this body or you would leave my necklace behind to be found by whoever walked by. So this is where I am supposed to be.”

  I shook my head. “That doesn’t follow. I told you to inhabit that body because it was the only one I could find on short notice. I was in a hurry, and that is all. I was not acting at Durga’s instruction and this was never intended to be a prison sentence for you—and I remind you that it’s not a prison of any kind. You can leave that body right now and you know it.”

  “No. I am stained by my past, and regardless of your intent in the hospital, I know that this is where I belong.”

  “You belong in an abusive household for trying to help me? I’m sorry, Laksha, but I must reject that premise completely. Durga could not have meant that you are never to help anyone again. Why would she want that? Her words applied only to that situation—because you truly couldn’t have helped with my father. That raksoyuj was formidable, to say the least. I mean, Durga had to make an effort to kill him. He was a challenge. I’m sure she didn’t mean for you to sit here and submit passively to some patriarchal toad for trying to help.”

  Laksha bobs her head to either side, a noncommittal gesture, and our tea and biscuits arrive. We spend a minute with the rituals involved in serving it—milk and honey, the clink of spoons on porcelain—and then Laksha speaks again.

  “You have given me new information and I’m grateful. I will consider it, I promise you, and act should I feel the need. You are right that I can leave at any time. But you are completely dismissing why I am staying.”

  I shake my head, uncomprehending. “No, I don’t mean to be dismissive. I guess I don’t understand.”

  Laksha flashes a smile at me over her teacup. “That is both likely and easily forgiven.”

  “Help me out a little bit?”

  She sips, savors the tea, and puts down her cup. “This is not my meek acceptance of systemic misogyny. I am not in need of your rescue. What I need is to atone for centuries—centuries, Granuaile!—of my own cruelty and arrogance. So whether Durga meant for me to be here or not is immaterial. I feel I need to be here, to feel what it’s like to be at the mercy of an arbitrary, power-mad individual like I used to be. I am learning. I am becoming empathetic and understanding the horror of how I used to behave. This is where I am on my spiritual journey. Where are you on yours?”

  I flinch because the tone of her voice feels like a slap. “I’m not really on one. Gaia is my jam, and she’s in favor of life on earth. That’s about it. Journey’s over, I’m at my destination.”

  “You haven’t told me everything. You’re different. Something else has happened to you besides the death of your father. What am I missing? Is it something to do with why you’re holding your arm awkwardly?”

  Yes. She’s missing what Loki did to me, and my determination to never let something like that happen again. Being at the mercy of an arbitrary, power-mad individual has very little to recommend it—I knew from experience with both Loki and my stepfather—but if she feels that it’s necessary for her own personal growth, then my opinion doesn’t matter. Still, her question and its answer shift my vision a little, allowing me to glimpse what she must be seeing: I’m much angrier and more aggressive than I used to be. And, yes, I have cause—but the tragedy is that I’ve lost that giddy wonder I had when I first became bound to Gaia. There was peace too, which I felt even while being pursued across Europe by Artemis and Diana. It’s all gone now.

  “You’re missing why I came to see you,” I say, knowing that she would recognize I wished to change the subject. “I need a way to hide myself from divination and wondered if you knew how I could make it happen.”

  Laksha grimaces at me, sucks at her bared teeth, and squints her eyes. “You think I can help you with that? I have absolutely no talent in that kind of magic. If I did, I wouldn’t have been so surprised to see you.”

  “But … oh. I guess you’re just my go-to for advice. I had a problem and I came to you first.”

  Laksha affects a Southern accent, which she must have picked up while living in Asheville, North Carolina. “Well, ain’t you just sweeter than peaches?” She drops it and continues more seriously, “Advice is easy enough. Go see those Polish witches we dealt with in Arizona, if you know where they are. They put a cloak on your boyfriend’s sword. I was able to remove it, because I’m quite good at destruction, but I could never create something like that.”

  “Oh! Duh, I should have thought of them. Yeah, they’re actually in Poland now. Atticus convinced them to get out while they could.”

  “And where are y
ou now? Still in Colorado?”

  “In transition to Oregon.” I let her know that the most reliable way to contact us is through the Tempe or Flagstaff packs, since we have ties to both.

  “I’ll remember that,” she says. “If I leave here I will let you know. But if I do it will be for Mhathini’s benefit, not mine.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “She’s still in here,” Laksha says, pointing to her temple.

  “She is?”

  Laksha nods, a wan smile on her face. “I’m hoping to convince her to stay rather than move on.”

  I’m intensely curious—how much of Mhathini is left after the trauma? Is Laksha capable of rebuilding what’s lost? Is she talking to Mhathini regularly inside her head, like she used to do with me? But before I can ask any of these questions, a man shouts and rushes over to our table. Orlaith stands up and growls at him and he pauses, but he doesn’t back away. When Orlaith does nothing more, he spews a stream of annoyed Tamil at Laksha—or Mhathini—and I guess that this must be her father, who has left the house in such a hurry that he forgot to zip up his pants. He also hasn’t shaven or perhaps even showered for a couple of days, yet he is doubtless telling Mhathini how wrong she is to be out in public without a proper escort.

  It sets my teeth on edge and I want to growl at him too, but it’s not my place to intervene. Laksha shoots a mute apology at me with her eyes and I wave back in silence. As she rises from the table to leave, I glare at him, daring him to say or do anything that would allow me to give him a proper retort, but he just stares back and then drapes a protective arm around the person he thinks is his daughter, steering her back to his house, where he can belittle her in private.

  Though I don’t have anything but American money on me, it worked fine in the market and I give the waitress everything I have, which is enough to pay for a month’s rent or maybe two. I figure somebody here should have a good day.